Hehehehe put your corny jokes here...
The cornier the merrier!
=)
Full Version: Corny Jokes 101
Q: Sino ang singer na nagbibigay ng free ice cream?
A: Missy Elliot. "Get your freak on, get your freak on."
...try singing it over and over and over and...
GROAN!!!
A: Missy Elliot. "Get your freak on, get your freak on."
...try singing it over and over and over and...
GROAN!!!
QUOTE
Originally posted by Gridlock:
Q: Sino ang singer na nagbibigay ng free ice cream?
A: Missy Elliot. "Get your freak on, get your freak on."
...try singing it over and over and over and...
GROAN!!! :rolleyes:
Q: Sino ang singer na nagbibigay ng free ice cream?
A: Missy Elliot. "Get your freak on, get your freak on."
...try singing it over and over and over and...
GROAN!!! :rolleyes:
haha. that was funny!
q: anong beer and color white at malaki?
a: eh di polar BEAR!!
hehehe... corny...
a: eh di polar BEAR!!
hehehe... corny...
Anong kotse ang gamit ng mga magician?
Ano?
E di, *chedeng!*
Anong hayop ang hindi tinatablan ng bala?
Ano?
E di, *pating!*
Anong hayop naman ang sumasabog?
Ano?
E di, *pagong!*
Ano?
E di, *chedeng!*
Anong hayop ang hindi tinatablan ng bala?
Ano?
E di, *pating!*
Anong hayop naman ang sumasabog?
Ano?
E di, *pagong!*
Anong country and bastos?
Ne-pal (hehe...say it with feelings)
Knock, knock
who's there?
Everybody dance.
Everybody dance who?
*sing* everybody, everybody,everybody...
E, saan yung dance?
*sing and dance* everybody, everybody,everybody....
(asteeg to, if you have the guts to pull it off)
Ne-pal (hehe...say it with feelings)
Knock, knock
who's there?
Everybody dance.
Everybody dance who?
*sing* everybody, everybody,everybody...
E, saan yung dance?
*sing and dance* everybody, everybody,everybody....
(asteeg to, if you have the guts to pull it off)
Q: Anong paboritong country ng mga bakla?
A: Rome...kc nandun ung Papa
*May kaibigan ako pangalan Joseph, last name n'ya Rotgam...sabihin mo ung buong name nya
**Joseph Rotgam (try to say the name over and over again...tpos, madidinig mo barok ung pagkasabi mo!) gets nyo??
A: Rome...kc nandun ung Papa
*May kaibigan ako pangalan Joseph, last name n'ya Rotgam...sabihin mo ung buong name nya
**Joseph Rotgam (try to say the name over and over again...tpos, madidinig mo barok ung pagkasabi mo!) gets nyo??
sino ang pin k haytech america or pinoy abwt in air? :mad:
boink :mad:
define AGONY:
It's like a one armed man hanging at the edge of a cliff by his only arm while his balls are devastatingly itchy.
Define DOOM:
kinamot nya.
Yes, I am distateful. I know.
It's like a one armed man hanging at the edge of a cliff by his only arm while his balls are devastatingly itchy.
Define DOOM:
kinamot nya.
Yes, I am distateful. I know.
QUOTE
Originally posted by [o]blivion:
boink :mad:
boink :mad:
Somehow, that picture is familiar...tsk...
Q: anong family name ni sisa (yung baliw)?
A: mistrit!!!
say her whole name now.. (shacks!!! ang baduy!)
A: mistrit!!!
say her whole name now.. (shacks!!! ang baduy!)
meron pa kong naremember:
Q: anong first name ni batman?
A: junjun
sing the song of batman: "junjunjunjunjun, batman!!!!" :eek:
Q: anong first name ni batman?
A: junjun
sing the song of batman: "junjunjunjunjun, batman!!!!" :eek:
QUOTE
Originally posted by Dearth:
Anong kotse ang gamit ng mga magician?
Ano?
E di, *chedeng!*
Anong hayop ang hindi tinatablan ng bala?
Ano?
E di, *pating!*
Anong hayop naman ang sumasabog?
Ano?
E di, *pagong!*
:D
Anong kotse ang gamit ng mga magician?
Ano?
E di, *chedeng!*
Anong hayop ang hindi tinatablan ng bala?
Ano?
E di, *pating!*
Anong hayop naman ang sumasabog?
Ano?
E di, *pagong!*
:D
mabenta yung joke na to sa office ko!
Wala ng kokorni pa dito…
Q: Bakit bastos ang mga dahon?!!!
A: Kase sila ay greeeeeeeen (say it with conviction)
Q: Bakit bastos ang mga dahon?!!!
A: Kase sila ay greeeeeeeen (say it with conviction
)
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be BAGELS!!!
--------------------------------------------
What kind of cheese does not belong to you? NOT-YO CHEESE!!!
--------------------------------------------
What did the tree say to the farmer?
LEAF me alone!! ... No, no, no -- WOOD you LEAF me alone!
---------------------------------------------
hehe...ang corny ko!
[ May 30, 2002: Message edited by: strawberries ]
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be BAGELS!!!
--------------------------------------------
What kind of cheese does not belong to you? NOT-YO CHEESE!!!
--------------------------------------------
What did the tree say to the farmer?
LEAF me alone!! ... No, no, no -- WOOD you LEAF me alone!
---------------------------------------------
hehe...ang corny ko!
[ May 30, 2002: Message edited by: strawberries ]
Q: What do you call a female shrimp?
A: "shepon"
Q: Ano ang kaibahan ng conclusion sa opinion?
A: Conclusion ay kung sarado yon, eh kung bukas yon, eh de opinion.
Use "CONTEMPLATE" in a sentence.
Nagpunta ako sa party ni Jenny, ang daming pagkain, kaya lang, hindi ako nakakain kasi...CONTEMPLATE eh...
Use TENACIOUS in a sentence.
I went to The Athlete's Foot yesterday to buy a pair of TENACIOUS.
Use CURTAIN and KITCHEN in one sentence.
Aray! Huwag mo akong CURTAIN. Masa-KITCHEN.
Use PUNCTUATION in a sentence.
Daddy, pasukan na next week. Kailangan ko ng PUNCTUATION.
Use GUAVA in a sentence.
I just had a haircut. Masa-GUAVA?
Use DEDUCT, DEFENSE, DEFEAT, and DETAIL in a sentence.
DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE but the DETAIL landed before DEFEAT.
Use DEPOSIT in a sentence.
Paki-check nga ang banyo. I think DEPOSIT is leaking.
Use DEVASTATION in a sentence.
I wait for the bus at DEVASTATION every morning.
Use PROTESTANT in a sentence.
PROTESTANT is a stand where you sell "prots".
Use IRAQ, IRAN and EGYPT in one sentence.
IRAQ is bigger than a stone; IRAN is faster than a walk; and EGYPT is smaller than a truck.
Use PAUL five times in a sentence.
PAUL, be carePAUL; you might PAUL in the swimming PAUL and make a PAUL of yourself.
Use HOSTESS in a sentence.
To answer a ringing telephone, you say, "HOSTESS?"
Use CASHEW and SKATE in a sentence.
I want to have a tattoo sana CASHEW mukhang ma-SKATE eh.
Use CUISINE in a sentence.
I hope you studied last night because our teacher might give a surprise CUISINE Math.
Use "EMPIRE" in a sentence.
Ready...EM (aim)...PIRE!!!(fire)
A: "shepon"
Q: Ano ang kaibahan ng conclusion sa opinion?
A: Conclusion ay kung sarado yon, eh kung bukas yon, eh de opinion.
Use "CONTEMPLATE" in a sentence.
Nagpunta ako sa party ni Jenny, ang daming pagkain, kaya lang, hindi ako nakakain kasi...CONTEMPLATE eh...
Use TENACIOUS in a sentence.
I went to The Athlete's Foot yesterday to buy a pair of TENACIOUS.
Use CURTAIN and KITCHEN in one sentence.
Aray! Huwag mo akong CURTAIN. Masa-KITCHEN.
Use PUNCTUATION in a sentence.
Daddy, pasukan na next week. Kailangan ko ng PUNCTUATION.
Use GUAVA in a sentence.
I just had a haircut. Masa-GUAVA?
Use DEDUCT, DEFENSE, DEFEAT, and DETAIL in a sentence.
DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE but the DETAIL landed before DEFEAT.
Use DEPOSIT in a sentence.
Paki-check nga ang banyo. I think DEPOSIT is leaking.
Use DEVASTATION in a sentence.
I wait for the bus at DEVASTATION every morning.
Use PROTESTANT in a sentence.
PROTESTANT is a stand where you sell "prots".
Use IRAQ, IRAN and EGYPT in one sentence.
IRAQ is bigger than a stone; IRAN is faster than a walk; and EGYPT is smaller than a truck.
Use PAUL five times in a sentence.
PAUL, be carePAUL; you might PAUL in the swimming PAUL and make a PAUL of yourself.
Use HOSTESS in a sentence.
To answer a ringing telephone, you say, "HOSTESS?"
Use CASHEW and SKATE in a sentence.
I want to have a tattoo sana CASHEW mukhang ma-SKATE eh.
Use CUISINE in a sentence.
I hope you studied last night because our teacher might give a surprise CUISINE Math.
Use "EMPIRE" in a sentence.
Ready...EM (aim)...PIRE!!!(fire)
kakatuwa naman yun!!!!!!!!!! mwahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!
Not exactly a joke, pero kuha ko 'to sa Reader's Digest:
A mother asked her 4 year old daughter, "Who's your favorite singer?" The little girl thought, then smiled, "Jennifer Low-Pants!" ;p
***
And now for my corny joke:
Anong animal ang walang pakialam?
LION.
Anong animal ang laging nauuntog?
DOG.
Anong tawag mo sa maliit na nunal?
SMOLE (small).
Eh sa malaking nunal?
MEGAMOLE (megamall).
Anong tagalog ng shrimp? Pusit diba? Eh ano ang maliit na shrimp?
PSST...!
PUTEK!!! ANG CORNY KO!!! :eek:
A mother asked her 4 year old daughter, "Who's your favorite singer?" The little girl thought, then smiled, "Jennifer Low-Pants!" ;p
***
And now for my corny joke:
Anong animal ang walang pakialam?
LION.
Anong animal ang laging nauuntog?
DOG.
Anong tawag mo sa maliit na nunal?
SMOLE (small).
Eh sa malaking nunal?
MEGAMOLE (megamall).
Anong tagalog ng shrimp? Pusit diba? Eh ano ang maliit na shrimp?
PSST...!
PUTEK!!! ANG CORNY KO!!! :eek:
Q:Ano motto ng Army?
A:No Retreat, No Surrender
Q:Ano motto ng Air Force?
A:No Guts, No Glory
Q:Ano motto ng Navy Seal?
A:No Pain, No Gain
Q:Ano motto ng Security Guard?
A:No ID, No Entry
Corny ko!
A:No Retreat, No Surrender
Q:Ano motto ng Air Force?
A:No Guts, No Glory
Q:Ano motto ng Navy Seal?
A:No Pain, No Gain
Q:Ano motto ng Security Guard?
A:No ID, No Entry
Corny ko!
killerpawn2damax:
I was reading your sig.. and trying to say it. Naaalala ko pa sya. LOL. Pero baliktad ata yung cartoons and sports.
Ang cute.
I was reading your sig.. and trying to say it. Naaalala ko pa sya. LOL. Pero baliktad ata yung cartoons and sports.
Ang cute.
From the twisted encephalons of QSci...
Q: Anong sinabi ng isang chromosome sa kasama niyang chromosome?
A. Pare, gene tayo.
Q. Anong sinabi ng isang animal cell sa katabi niyang plant cell?
A. Ang kapal mo ah!
*next joke needs statistics background para ma-gets*
Q. There's this statistician who had to choose the perfect girl for him from among a group of 5 girls. What did he do?
A. E di kinuha niya yung Q test!
Q: Anong sinabi ng isang chromosome sa kasama niyang chromosome?
A. Pare, gene tayo.
Q. Anong sinabi ng isang animal cell sa katabi niyang plant cell?
A. Ang kapal mo ah!
*next joke needs statistics background para ma-gets*
Q. There's this statistician who had to choose the perfect girl for him from among a group of 5 girls. What did he do?
A. E di kinuha niya yung Q test!
ito... an original from my cousin!!!
q: ano ang pangalan ng kapatid na babae nina ralph fiennes (ng end of the affair) & joseph fiennes (ng shakespeare in love)???
a: eh di si K fine!!!
corny ba?
q: ano ang pangalan ng kapatid na babae nina ralph fiennes (ng end of the affair) & joseph fiennes (ng shakespeare in love)???
a: eh di si K fine!!!
corny ba?
QUOTE
Originally posted by strawberries:
Use PAUL five times in a sentence.
PAUL, be carePAUL; you might PAUL in the swimming PAUL and make a PAUL of yourself.
:D :D
Use PAUL five times in a sentence.
PAUL, be carePAUL; you might PAUL in the swimming PAUL and make a PAUL of yourself.
:D :Dmay isa pang version niyan e:
PAUL, be carePAUL, you might PAUL in the beautiPAUL swimming PAUL!!!!!!!
eitherway, corni pa rin
nakaktawa yung nga jokes mo!
QUOTE
Originally posted by Gridlock:
Anong tagalog ng shrimp? Pusit diba? Eh ano ang maliit na shrimp?
PSST...!
PUTEK!!! ANG CORNY KO!!! :eek:
Anong tagalog ng shrimp? Pusit diba? Eh ano ang maliit na shrimp?
PSST...!
PUTEK!!! ANG CORNY KO!!! :eek:
anong tagalog ng shrimp? hipon!
anong tagalog ng squid? yan ang pusit!
pwedeng pa nmang baguhin dba?
pero masasabing korni ka!
QUOTE
Originally posted by ForMer AtenisTa sa AHS:
may isa pang version niyan e:
PAUL, be carePAUL, you might PAUL in the beautiPAUL swimming PAUL!!!!!!!
eitherway, corni pa rin
nakaktawa yung nga jokes mo!
may isa pang version niyan e:
PAUL, be carePAUL, you might PAUL in the beautiPAUL swimming PAUL!!!!!!!
eitherway, corni pa rin
nakaktawa yung nga jokes mo!
thank you...
corny lang talaga ako!
o eto korni joke:
May isang businessman on a business trip sa amerika. may kasama siyang maid kasi marami siyang dala. sa NAIA, bago sila umais, binigyan nya yung maid ng cellphone. eto yung nangyari:
B: o eto cellphone... i testing natin... dun ka sa may drinking fountain.
M: o sige sir.
M: hello? hello? hello!
B: baliktarin mo!
M: llo-he? llo-he? llo-he!
B: yung telepono, gaga!
M: pon-tele? pon-tele? pon-tele!
KORNI KO ANO!
May isang businessman on a business trip sa amerika. may kasama siyang maid kasi marami siyang dala. sa NAIA, bago sila umais, binigyan nya yung maid ng cellphone. eto yung nangyari:
B: o eto cellphone... i testing natin... dun ka sa may drinking fountain.
M: o sige sir.
M: hello? hello? hello!
B
M: llo-he? llo-he? llo-he!
B
M: pon-tele? pon-tele? pon-tele!
KORNI KO ANO!
QUOTE
Originally posted by ForMer AtenisTa sa AHS:
anong tagalog ng shrimp? hipon!
anong tagalog ng squid? yan ang pusit!
pwedeng pa nmang baguhin dba?
pero masasabing korni ka!
anong tagalog ng shrimp? hipon!
anong tagalog ng squid? yan ang pusit!
pwedeng pa nmang baguhin dba?
pero masasabing korni ka!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! OO NGA NOH!!!!
:eek: Ang sabog ko na talaga!!! Thanks for still-corny correction. Lalo tayong naging corny!!!
eto corny talaga:
Ano ang sabi ng bus driver nung may nakita syang cow sa gitna ng high way. (malapit na nyanng masagasaan)?
Beef-beef! hahahahahahha
Ano ang sabi ng bus driver nung may nakita syang cow sa gitna ng high way. (malapit na nyanng masagasaan)?
Beef-beef! hahahahahahha
"Knock knock!"
Who's there?
"Padagdag diyes."
Padagdag diyes who?
*drum sfx* padug-dug dyish!
"Knock knock!"
Who's there?
"Padagdag bente."
Padagdag bente who?
*drum sfx* padug-dug dyish! dyish!
Who's there?
"Padagdag diyes."
Padagdag diyes who?
*drum sfx* padug-dug dyish!
"Knock knock!"
Who's there?
"Padagdag bente."
Padagdag bente who?
*drum sfx* padug-dug dyish! dyish!
QUOTE
Originally posted by Dearth:
"Knock knock!"
Who's there?
"Padagdag diyes."
Padagdag diyes who?
*drum sfx* padug-dug dyish!
"Knock knock!"
Who's there?
"Padagdag bente."
Padagdag bente who?
*drum sfx* padug-dug dyish! dyish!
"Knock knock!"
Who's there?
"Padagdag diyes."
Padagdag diyes who?
*drum sfx* padug-dug dyish!
"Knock knock!"
Who's there?
"Padagdag bente."
Padagdag bente who?
*drum sfx* padug-dug dyish! dyish!
Haha... iba nga lang ng kaunti yung version na narinig ko. Sa min "tagapgdadag ng diyes" tapos kunayari nagdrudrums siya nung binigay na yung sagot. Benta to sakin dati didahil nakakatawa pero dahil sa sobrang corny.
QUOTE
Originally posted by rye:
eto corny talaga:
Ano ang sabi ng bus driver nung may nakita syang cow sa gitna ng high way. (malapit na nyanng masagasaan)?
Beef-beef! hahahahahahha :D
eto corny talaga:
Ano ang sabi ng bus driver nung may nakita syang cow sa gitna ng high way. (malapit na nyanng masagasaan)?
Beef-beef! hahahahahahha
:Dthe best to
hindi tao, hindi hayop, hindi bagay ngunit naisusuot?
ans: barong at rubber shoes
ans: barong at rubber shoes
Anong sabi ni Mr. Centipede nung nakita niya si Ms. Millipede?
"Wow legs wow legs wow legs wow legs wow legs..."
Nagkita ang dalawang magkaibigang octopus.
"Pare!"
"Oy pare!"
"Appear appear appear appear appear appear appear appear!"
Oh God. I'm getting worse...
"Wow legs wow legs wow legs wow legs wow legs..."
Nagkita ang dalawang magkaibigang octopus.
"Pare!"
"Oy pare!"
"Appear appear appear appear appear appear appear appear!"
Oh God. I'm getting worse...
grabe!~ nakakatawa talaga kayo...kahit na korni!!!
Sino ang mga mortal na kaaway ni Shakespeare?
E di sina SHAKESWORD at SHAKESHIELD.
E di sina SHAKESWORD at SHAKESHIELD.
kung "psst" ang tawag sa maliit na pusit, ano ang tawag sa malaking pusit????
answer:
"HOY!"
answer:
"HOY!"
eto, eto.....
person 1: Uy, may joke ako tungkol sa peanut butter.
person 2: Oh, ano?
Person 1: ayoko, baka i-spread mo eh!!
argh..putek, ang corny tlga! :cool:
person 1: Uy, may joke ako tungkol sa peanut butter.
person 2: Oh, ano?
Person 1: ayoko, baka i-spread mo eh!!
argh..putek, ang corny tlga! :cool:
*please patawarin ninyo ako, pero I have to do this...*
A: Knock knock!
B: Who's there?
A: Britney Spears.
B: Britney Spears who?
A: Knock knock!
B: Huh? Fine... Who's there?
A: Britney Spears.
B: Britney Spears who?
A: "Oops, I did it again..."
A: Knock knock!
B: Who's there?
A: Britney Spears.
B: Britney Spears who?
A: Knock knock!
B: Huh? Fine... Who's there?
A: Britney Spears.
B: Britney Spears who?
A: "Oops, I did it again..."
Q: What happens if you have a wooden car with wooden chassis, wooden tires and wooden engine?
A: It wooden start.
A: It wooden start.
eto pa..
q:anong sinabi ng tae sa isa pang tae?
a:walang iwanan ha!
q:anong sabi ng tae sa utot?
a:mauna ka na!
Q:anong sabi ng sipon sa kulangot?
a:manigas ka!
some of those school jokes...
in a night club:
atenean>>pare, look at that #68..she's so kinis pare!
lasallite>>pare, look at that #56..makes me wanna..
AMA>>pare, alis na tayo! ung #10, ate ko!!
when a mercedes passes by:
atenean>>ooh, my dad bought another MB.
lasallite>>nice car!
AMA>>uy, chedeng o, pa-kodak tayo!
q:anong sinabi ng tae sa isa pang tae?
a:walang iwanan ha!
q:anong sabi ng tae sa utot?
a:mauna ka na!
Q:anong sabi ng sipon sa kulangot?
a:manigas ka!
some of those school jokes...
in a night club:
atenean>>pare, look at that #68..she's so kinis pare!
lasallite>>pare, look at that #56..makes me wanna..
AMA>>pare, alis na tayo! ung #10, ate ko!!
when a mercedes passes by:
atenean>>ooh, my dad bought another MB.
lasallite>>nice car!
AMA>>uy, chedeng o, pa-kodak tayo!
AMA jokes:
pag nawalan ng wallet:
lasallian: o goddamn! my credit cards!!!
atenean: a sh*t! my 10,000 PhP!!!
AMA: ay p*nyeta! litrato ni jolina!!!
to a bartender:
lasallian: budweiser please.
atenean: smirnoff mule please.
AMA: bok, bok, may zesto kayo dito?
------------
Kulangot Jokes
ano difference ng plate sa kulangot?
ang plate, sa ibabaw ng table. ang kulangot, sa ilalim!!!
ano difference ng crayons sa kulangot?
ang crayons, maraming kulay. ang kulangot, isa lang!!!
ano difference ng vegetables sa kulangot?
ang mga bata, hindi kumakain ng vegetables!!!
------------
Classic Competitions bet. Kano, Hapon, Pinoy:
Paramihan ng anak (contest held in araneta colisseum): Kano called out his children, there were 50! Audience clapped. Hapon called out his children, there were 500! Audience clapped even louder! Pinoy just stood in front of the audience. Emcee asked were his children were. The audience cheered,"Daddy, daddy!"
Palamigan ng sipon: Kano sneezed ang when the sipon landed on the ground, it froze! spectators clapped. Hapon sneezed in front of river. when sipon landed on river, the river froze! spectators clapped louder. pinoy sneezed and sipon landed on the ground. after a few seconds, the ground separated and devils rose, shaking and very cold!!
---------------
tama na! dami na masyado, corni naman!!
pag nawalan ng wallet:
lasallian: o goddamn! my credit cards!!!
atenean: a sh*t! my 10,000 PhP!!!
AMA: ay p*nyeta! litrato ni jolina!!!
to a bartender:
lasallian: budweiser please.
atenean: smirnoff mule please.
AMA: bok, bok, may zesto kayo dito?
------------
Kulangot Jokes
ano difference ng plate sa kulangot?
ang plate, sa ibabaw ng table. ang kulangot, sa ilalim!!!
ano difference ng crayons sa kulangot?
ang crayons, maraming kulay. ang kulangot, isa lang!!!
ano difference ng vegetables sa kulangot?
ang mga bata, hindi kumakain ng vegetables!!!
------------
Classic Competitions bet. Kano, Hapon, Pinoy:
Paramihan ng anak (contest held in araneta colisseum): Kano called out his children, there were 50! Audience clapped. Hapon called out his children, there were 500! Audience clapped even louder! Pinoy just stood in front of the audience. Emcee asked were his children were. The audience cheered,"Daddy, daddy!"
Palamigan ng sipon: Kano sneezed ang when the sipon landed on the ground, it froze! spectators clapped. Hapon sneezed in front of river. when sipon landed on river, the river froze! spectators clapped louder. pinoy sneezed and sipon landed on the ground. after a few seconds, the ground separated and devils rose, shaking and very cold!!
---------------
tama na! dami na masyado, corni naman!!
AMA jokes:
pag nawalan ng wallet:
lasallian: o goddamn! my credit cards!!!
atenean: a sh*t! my 10,000 PhP!!!
AMA: ay p*nyeta! litrato ni jolina!!!
to a bartender:
lasallian: budweiser please.
atenean: smirnoff mule please.
AMA: bok, bok, may zesto kayo dito?
------------
Kulangot Jokes
ano difference ng plate sa kulangot?
ang plate, sa ibabaw ng table. ang kulangot, sa ilalim!!!
ano difference ng crayons sa kulangot?
ang crayons, maraming kulay. ang kulangot, isa lang!!!
ano difference ng vegetables sa kulangot?
ang mga bata, hindi kumakain ng vegetables!!!
------------
Classic Competitions bet. Kano, Hapon, Pinoy:
Paramihan ng anak (contest held in araneta colisseum): Kano called out his children, there were 50! Audience clapped. Hapon called out his children, there were 500! Audience clapped even louder! Pinoy just stood in front of the audience. Emcee asked were his children were. The audience cheered,"Daddy, daddy!"
Palamigan ng sipon: Kano sneezed ang when the sipon landed on the ground, it froze! spectators clapped. Hapon sneezed in front of river. when sipon landed on river, the river froze! spectators clapped louder. pinoy sneezed and sipon landed on the ground. after a few seconds, the ground separated and devils rose, shaking and very cold!!
---------------
tama na! dami na masyado, corni naman!!
pag nawalan ng wallet:
lasallian: o goddamn! my credit cards!!!
atenean: a sh*t! my 10,000 PhP!!!
AMA: ay p*nyeta! litrato ni jolina!!!
to a bartender:
lasallian: budweiser please.
atenean: smirnoff mule please.
AMA: bok, bok, may zesto kayo dito?
------------
Kulangot Jokes
ano difference ng plate sa kulangot?
ang plate, sa ibabaw ng table. ang kulangot, sa ilalim!!!
ano difference ng crayons sa kulangot?
ang crayons, maraming kulay. ang kulangot, isa lang!!!
ano difference ng vegetables sa kulangot?
ang mga bata, hindi kumakain ng vegetables!!!
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Classic Competitions bet. Kano, Hapon, Pinoy:
Paramihan ng anak (contest held in araneta colisseum): Kano called out his children, there were 50! Audience clapped. Hapon called out his children, there were 500! Audience clapped even louder! Pinoy just stood in front of the audience. Emcee asked were his children were. The audience cheered,"Daddy, daddy!"
Palamigan ng sipon: Kano sneezed ang when the sipon landed on the ground, it froze! spectators clapped. Hapon sneezed in front of river. when sipon landed on river, the river froze! spectators clapped louder. pinoy sneezed and sipon landed on the ground. after a few seconds, the ground separated and devils rose, shaking and very cold!!
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tama na! dami na masyado, corni naman!!
> > Top 20 SABLAY Quotes
> >
> > 1. I couldn't care a damn!
> >
> > 2. What's your next class before this?
> >
> > 3. Nothing in this world is perfect except the
word "change"
> >
> > 4. Can you repeat that for the second time around
once more from
>the top?
> > (<--- ulitin natin hanggang mamatay tayo!)
> >
>
> > 5. My dad brought home a lot of hand-me-downs!
(Translation:
>Daming
> > pasalubong ng tatay ko.)
> >
> > 6. Standard and Chartered Bank
> >
> > 7. I'm very iterated!!! (transalation: galit sya!)
> >
> > 8. I'm sorry, my boss just passed away.
(translation: kakadaan
>lang ng
> > boss nya.)
> >
> > 9. Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like
to wait?
> >
> > 10. What happened after the erection of Mayon
Volcano?
> >
>
> > 11. Don't touch me not!
> >
> > 12. Hello?... For a while, please hang yourself...
> >
> > 13. Its spilled milk under the bridge.
> >
> > 14. Don't change anything! Keep it at ease.
> >
> > 15. Hello McDo? Mag-i-inquire lang ako kung
magkano ang kidney
>meal? (<---
> > yung pangbatang pagkain)
> >
> > 16. You!!! You're not a boy anymore! You're a man
anymore!
> >
> > 17. Out of fit ako these days eh... (translation:
di sya
>
> > nakakapag-exercise)
> >
> > 18. Come, lets join us!
> >
> > 19. Bring down the house down!
> >
> > 20. I'm the world champion of the World!!!
> >
> > 1. I couldn't care a damn!
> >
> > 2. What's your next class before this?
> >
> > 3. Nothing in this world is perfect except the
word "change"
> >
> > 4. Can you repeat that for the second time around
once more from
>the top?
> > (<--- ulitin natin hanggang mamatay tayo!)
> >
>
> > 5. My dad brought home a lot of hand-me-downs!
(Translation:
>Daming
> > pasalubong ng tatay ko.)
> >
> > 6. Standard and Chartered Bank
> >
> > 7. I'm very iterated!!! (transalation: galit sya!)
> >
> > 8. I'm sorry, my boss just passed away.
(translation: kakadaan
>lang ng
> > boss nya.)
> >
> > 9. Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like
to wait?
> >
> > 10. What happened after the erection of Mayon
Volcano?
> >
>
> > 11. Don't touch me not!
> >
> > 12. Hello?... For a while, please hang yourself...
> >
> > 13. Its spilled milk under the bridge.
> >
> > 14. Don't change anything! Keep it at ease.
> >
> > 15. Hello McDo? Mag-i-inquire lang ako kung
magkano ang kidney
>meal? (<---
> > yung pangbatang pagkain)
> >
> > 16. You!!! You're not a boy anymore! You're a man
anymore!
> >
> > 17. Out of fit ako these days eh... (translation:
di sya
>
> > nakakapag-exercise)
> >
> > 18. Come, lets join us!
> >
> > 19. Bring down the house down!
> >
> > 20. I'm the world champion of the World!!!
spkr: hu among u had experienced havn sex w/ a ghost? ( a farmer raised his hand)
spkr: rili? well how does it feel to have sex with a ghost?
Farmer: ay! Pu*a! kala ko goats!!!
*hardy-har-har..*
spkr: rili? well how does it feel to have sex with a ghost?
Farmer: ay! Pu*a! kala ko goats!!!
*hardy-har-har..*
Di ko alam kung may nagsulat na nito, pero here goes:
Ano ang SYMPATHY:
Yung musical score na maraming movements
Sino si Clart Kent (spelling?)? -Si superman
sino si Bruce Wayne? -Si Batman
Sino si Peter Parker? -Si Spiderman
Sino si Robin Padilla? -Maging Sino ka man
(For the girls at gustong maging girl) SINO AKO? -Si Natalie Portman
Knock knock
Who's there?
Andrea (para sa mga may kilalang andrea)
Andrea who?
"Andrea, andrea, mami eiiya, eiiya, oh-oh!"
Knock knock
Who's there?
Didang (para sa may kilalang didang, kung hindi nyo siya kilala, di bagyong didang na lang)
Didang who?
"Bawit-da-baw, didang, didang, diggy, diggy..."
Ano ang SYMPATHY:
Yung musical score na maraming movements
Sino si Clart Kent (spelling?)? -Si superman
sino si Bruce Wayne? -Si Batman
Sino si Peter Parker? -Si Spiderman
Sino si Robin Padilla? -Maging Sino ka man
(For the girls at gustong maging girl) SINO AKO? -Si Natalie Portman
Knock knock
Who's there?
Andrea (para sa mga may kilalang andrea)
Andrea who?
"Andrea, andrea, mami eiiya, eiiya, oh-oh!"
Knock knock
Who's there?
Didang (para sa may kilalang didang, kung hindi nyo siya kilala, di bagyong didang na lang)
Didang who?
"Bawit-da-baw, didang, didang, diggy, diggy..."
jokes sometimes makes life worthwhile...
here's a really korny one:
anong sabi ng langgam sa elepante?
*buntis ako ikaw ang ama
here's a really korny one:
anong sabi ng langgam sa elepante?
*buntis ako ikaw ang ama
[ September 18, 2002: Message edited by: HomE_boY ]
QUOTE
Originally posted by ForMer AtenisTa sa AHS:
o eto korni joke:
May isang businessman on a business trip sa amerika. may kasama siyang maid kasi marami siyang dala. sa NAIA, bago sila umais, binigyan nya yung maid ng cellphone. eto yung nangyari:
B: o eto cellphone... i testing natin... dun ka sa may drinking fountain.
M: o sige sir.
M: hello? hello? hello!
B: baliktarin mo!
M: llo-he? llo-he? llo-he!
B: yung telepono, gaga!
M: pon-tele? pon-tele? pon-tele!
KORNI KO ANO!
o eto korni joke:
May isang businessman on a business trip sa amerika. may kasama siyang maid kasi marami siyang dala. sa NAIA, bago sila umais, binigyan nya yung maid ng cellphone. eto yung nangyari:
B: o eto cellphone... i testing natin... dun ka sa may drinking fountain.
M: o sige sir.
M: hello? hello? hello!
B
M: llo-he? llo-he? llo-he!
B
M: pon-tele? pon-tele? pon-tele!
KORNI KO ANO!
That was very funny. Corny man o hindi, I just couldn't stop laughing!
Thanks for making my day!
o eto...
Isip ka ng dalawang numbers.
(isip naman yung kawawang bata)
Add mo yung 2 numbers.
(F na F naman na nag-add ang kawawang bata)
I-subtract mo yung bigger number from the sum.
(medjo nagulumihan ang bata sa pag-intindi pero sige, subtract naman siya)
....o ngayon, pikit ka...
(kala mo may special wishing whatsoever thingy so pikit ka naman)
**nagconcentrate naman ng sobra ang bata**
sabsy sabi ng nang-uuto:
"Ang dilim noh?!"
weeeh. corny.
Isip ka ng dalawang numbers.
(isip naman yung kawawang bata)
Add mo yung 2 numbers.
(F na F naman na nag-add ang kawawang bata)
I-subtract mo yung bigger number from the sum.
(medjo nagulumihan ang bata sa pag-intindi pero sige, subtract naman siya)
....o ngayon, pikit ka...
(kala mo may special wishing whatsoever thingy so pikit ka naman)
**nagconcentrate naman ng sobra ang bata**
sabsy sabi ng nang-uuto:
"Ang dilim noh?!"
weeeh. corny.
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